“Happy anniversary,” she said with a chuckle. 

Oops.  I had completely forgotten our anniversary.  The thing that saved me was so did she. 

We made our wedding date the day after Income tax many years ago when I had a business printing out tax returns for accounting and tax services at a computer center.  With last-minute tax preparations, the day after income tax was the first day I could schedule for anything.

Luckily, April 16 was a Saturday and my bride-to-be made all the preparations.  She ordered the cake, invited relatives and friends and even picked out my suit.  When I got up Saturday morning all I had to do was to get dressed. 

That was a small bump in the road we have traveled together for 32 years. 

But life happens and occasionally, normally important things get temporarily lost behind the smoke screen of the immediate problems that we must deal with. 

In the previous weeks, our life has been bumpy.  My middle-thirties daughter suffers from an insidious, incurable disease that has been acting up pretty severely recently.  She has a normal job, but has been sick so often recently, she went on Family Medical Leave (FMLA), a great federal program that allows her time off to go to the doctor and to the hospital to have her disease treated without getting her fired. 

On top of all the visits to local doctors, the Emergency Room and going through an endless array of drugs to try to make her disease manageable she has finally been referred to a surgical facility.  There is no other choice. 

The best hospital for the job is 90 miles away and there are more than several visits before the surgery. 

While my wife drives her down and back, I take care of our ‘almost’ seven-year-old grandson and relieve her of that stress.  We generally wind up together for dinner, and at least we can spend some pleasant time together. 

On another note, as the IRS deadline approached, our son, who made more than a fair amount selling items on Amazon last year, was a nearly nightly visitor to ask for the help of my accountant wife.  He also stayed many times for dinner as well. 

We love having our kids visit, although under these circumstances, it made for a rather hectic lifestyle.  So, April 15 came and went, and it didn’t even occur to me that the following day was our wedding anniversary day. 

I am grateful that my wife has a sense of humor and I rewarded her with an anniversary card and flowers, and we rewarded ourselves by going out to dinner (alone) at a nice restaurant. 

These are some examples of riding the bumps in the road.  We have no say in how life goes.  We can only try to react to circumstances thrust upon us.  And we have lived and been married long enough to ride the little bumps without breaking pace.  We have learned that life has enough of the big bumps. 

All in all, life happens and includes lots of bumps.

Command a vital life. Live free.

We are not robots, although sometimes the dullness of life can make us feel that way.  At various stages of our lives, we are overwhelmed by the boredom of daily living.  I guess that is what winter vacations are for. 

There are many diversions built into our lives to relieve boredom.  There is the latest movie or album to entertain us for a brief period, there are events and activities of all kinds to break up our days, too many to mention.  Each one offers an invitation to participate. 

Back to the scribbled note, it names a major reason for living is to have a little joy.  What dismal persons are those who have no joy. 

Joy might be discussed as internal happiness.  We all know people who run the range from being nonstop happy (sometimes very annoying) to nonstop unhappy.  We should focus on the middle ground. 

Let’s look at it from the backside. We know a lot of things that will make us unhappy (supply your own list here) and by eliminating them from our lives (where possible) our happiness index will naturally rise. 

If our lives are weighed down by responsibilities, see them through and don’t renew. 

Once we have a written list of what makes us unhappy, we can also make a list of what would make us happy, and try them out, one at a time.  Then we know if it stays or goes from the list.  We should be creative and not hold back.  We may not ever have the opportunity to “run away with the circus,” but on that list will be a lot of dreams that could become reality if we follow that path.  

Now that’s a reason for living.

We should be careful what we wish for.  Winning the lottery, as an example, should make us happy, but many people who have won wind up unhappy, plagued by relentless appeals for money. 

A major item that makes people unhappy is lack of control over their life activities.  The punishment of imprisonment is more than the lack of freedom; it is the lack of control over the person’s life.  They can make almost no choices of their own. 

Many of us are caught in a web of our own making.  As we mature, obligations seem magically to accumulate and we are driven by them.  We feel we are losing control over large portions of our lives.  We are not happy, and can’t pin the reason why. 

Feeling helpless and loss of control makes us unhappy. 

We must be careful to combat those feelings early.  Left to themselves they will get worse and may cause depression.  People give up living when they lose all control. 

We should go back to that list or make a new list of things that obligate us and things that draw us to them.  Rate them on some scale, positive for the things we want to do and would make us happy, negative for the things that make us unhappy. 

Keep in mind that an obligation like college tuition for a child will result in the happiness of seeing that person graduate with a career.   

If there are relationship issues, there are thousands of articles and mentors that can help us deal with and improve them.

Make it a hobby to work on the list, taking steps forward to raise the negative ratings and gain free time to pursue the positive items that will bring us joy. 

Now that’s another reason for living. 

Finally, feeling useless makes us unhappy. 

We are social animals, and it is built into our genes to help others.  We can volunteer for something that helps another person.  It is one thing to send money, but physically working to help others face to face makes us feel useful and gives us deeper satisfaction. 

Can we make someone’s life better by helping them in some way that would only get done with our efforts?  Try it.  You’ll feel great.  

And that’s another reason for living. 

Don’t give up living and don’t “run away with the circus.” 

Be useful; be happy. 

Command a vital life. Live free.

These are impressive numbers, since January 20 is only 77 days behind us. 

Optimism, according to Merriam-Webster online dictionary, is an inclination to put the most favorable construction upon actions and events or to anticipate the best possible outcome.

Of course, the most difficult people to convince that things are getting better are the millions of unemployed, the millions who are paying “upside down” mortgages, where their equity is in the minus.  As a special note, credit goes out to the homeowners who are staying the course with their homes and paying what they owe.  These are the true optimists.

Americans who have had their 401(k) savings reduced to minimal amounts have the hardest job to be optimistic.  Credit also goes out to those who are employed and staying the course, continuing to contribute with each paycheck.  My wife recently had her company share of contributions terminated as her company struggles to remain viable, but she is an optimist, happy to have a paycheck.

The stock market is again showing signs of life.  The strongest companies are surviving, even though their earnings are miserable.  This shows there is light on the horizon for them.  The weakest companies have breathed their last, or been absorbed by others, both camps leaving their excessed employees to fend for themselves.  The market thrives on optimism and hope, and that is what is providing the plus days.  Will it rise to former heights?  Yes.  In our lifetimes? That is a question answered differently by optimists and those who are not.

Home sales are also showing signs of life, even if most of the sales are foreclosures.  As banks rid themselves of the “toxic” assets and begin to lend again to other than those with an 800 credit rating putting down 80% of the purchase price, houses will rise in value as demand for ownership increases.  Unfortunately, there is wreckage there as well.  People who have walked away, people who have foreclosed, and investors who bought those packaged mortgage loans that went bad will suffer.

Such is the fate of the speculator.  We have become used to deriding speculators of mortgages, commodities like oil and other areas, so that we have forgotten we are all speculators.  Definitions of speculation include a conclusion or opinion reached by contemplation, conjecture or surmise, and engagement in business transactions involving risk but offering the chance of large gains in the hope of profit.

Were we invested in the stock market and 401(k) with the hope it would go down or stay even?  Did we purchase our home with the hope it would depreciate in value?

We had great hopes.  It was easy to be optimistic when everything was going up.  It’s hard to be optimistic when everything has crashed and we feel we have to start building again.  But that is what makes us Americans – optimism and hope.  Our optimism is being reborn.  We look beyond tomorrow and see the light on the horizon.  Today we survive.  Today we build for the future.  Today we survive so tomorrow we may thrive.  Our optimism carries us forward, eyes on the horizon, eyes on the light.

998 adults is a small sample on which to base the optimistic outlook.  How do you feel?  Are you optimistic?

In an optimism test formulated by Queendom.com (the land of tests), questions ranged from keeping in touch with family and friends, and feeling you can rely on them in time of crisis, to finding good in most people and something positive in difficult situations, dealing with whatever life throws at you, your outlook on finding solutions to a crisis, and whether you will ever give up.

Some of my highest choices in answer to these questions:

• I can find some good in even the most disagreeable people.
• I can find something positive in even the most difficult situations.
• I actively keep in touch with friends and family.
• When I’m feeling down, I remind myself to focus on the good things in my life instead of the bad.
• When I have a difficult problem, I try to look at it from different angles in order to come up with a solution.
• I refuse to give up, no matter how tough things get.
• No matter what life throws at me, I believe that I can deal with it.
• I know how to calm myself down and relax when my life gets too hectic.
• I think that it’s important to maintain a sense of humor when life is particularly rough.
• Given the choice, I think that the majority of people would choose to do good rather than evil.

And my optimism test results were:

“According to your responses, you seem to be the type of person who believes strongly in the goodness of humankind.  You give almost everyone the benefit of the doubt, and accept what people say and do at face value instead of making conjectures about their motives.  You try to find the good in even the most difficult of people, and are much more willing to place your faith in others.  Although your trusting and accepting nature is refreshing, you may benefit from a more balanced perspective.  Unfortunately, believing that everyone you meet has good intentions leaves you open to being taken advantage of.  This doesn’t mean that you should be suspicious of others or their motives, but a little skepticism couldn’t hurt.”

I guess I’m a little too optimistic.  Ok scammers, come get me. 

Command a vital life. Live free.