It is easy to get our schedules bunched up as well as our blood pressure; and very easy to be late.  Habitually late

If we were meeting a potential romantic partner or employer, I would bet we would move everything out of our way to arrive on time, especially if it is the first time. 

Whether it is a date or meeting, over time we get comfortable and it becomes part of our routine.  We push the schedule and insert small tasks before we have to leave and they take longer than we thought.  We get more done, but are habitually late. 

Our blood pressure rises and we feel the stress squeezing us. 

So, how can we defend ourselves?  Don’t be late.  How can we do that? 

Make each time like the first time. 

This presupposes our schedule is not like an emergency room disaster.  If it is, we can do two things; try to lighten our schedule or become experts at time management or a combination of both. 

We can try to say no to some meetings and events if they make our lives too stressful.  We can try to limit activities with our young ones or involve other family members to help out. 

But at work, we might have a boss who doesn’t understand anything except his own needs, and drives us relentlessly.  We can probably discuss it with him, but he wouldn’t understand our hectic schedule.  We can ask him to prioritize the meetings he wants us to attend on time and without stress.  And he may be deaf to our suggestions. 

In that case, a decision should be made.  Do we want to die of stress on our present job, or live with another, better job? 

And if we manage to lower our activity, appointment and meeting schedule, we can then work to lower our stress by allowing ourselves a pace to get there on time or, even a little early.  How?  Apply a little project schedule planning.

Planning

Everything we do that involves interdependent activities is a project.  There are things we can control and things we cannot.  The secret is to recognize the difference, and plan each leg.  

First we need to do some calculations to know our personal numbers—adjust them for each particular case:

• Know how much sleep we need if we have a super-important appointment like a job interview the next day.  Let’s enter 8 hours.
• We are not robots, so it takes some time to fall asleep – more if we are apprehensive or nervous about the next day’s events.  Let’s enter 30 minutes. 
• We are not firemen, so leaping out of bed fully dressed and ready for action will not happen.  Most people need about 90 minutes to rise, shower, clear our morning fog, and dress.  It wouldn’t hurt to add 30 minutes for miscellaneous items like de-icing the car in winter, walking the family pet, herding our young ones and making breakfast.  Let’s enter 120 minutes to get out the door from the sound of the alarm. 
• How long will it take to get to our destination?  If we are driving, is there gas in the car?  If we take public transportation, do we know the bus or train schedule?  Would it hurt us to take an earlier bus or train in case there were delays?  Do we drop our young ones off on our way? 

This is a personal estimate of travel time, and keeping abreast of weather conditions and construction sites will help make the number more accurate.  We all like to estimate our travel time as if it was Sunday midnight, but most commuters commute at about the same time.  Vary the time with experience.  Pad on some extra minutes, just in case. 

Preparation

Next, prepare the night before.  Put gas in the car.  Organize what we will need and place it by the front door to avoid forgetting it.  Lay out clothes for our young ones and ourselves.  Prepare lunches and store them in the refrigerator. 

Check directions to our destination if it is unfamiliar.  If we are driving, it wouldn’t hurt to plan an alternate route in case of jammed traffic. 

I used to take a route to work through a large metropolitan center.  It was the most direct route, but every day, there were accidents and construction and my stress levels soared.  Then I planned an alternate route around the metropolis.  It was slightly longer, but less traveled, and the time was constant every day.  I actually enjoyed the drive. 

Distractions

The last thing I like to do before retiring is to check my e-mail for any change in plans.  I can do it in the morning, but 5 minutes usually turns into 25 and I fall behind schedule. 

This falls into the category of distractions that can put us behind schedule.  Other distractions may be an unexpected phone call.  Some of us cannot resist the sound of a ringing phone.  This is a discipline issue.  Let it go to voice mail unless it is someone with critical news.  We can call them back while enroute or when we arrive early at our meeting. 

Other distractions may include young ones out of sorts; they don’t like what they have to wear; they don’t like breakfast; they didn’t do their homework and a big report is due today.  Sorry, I can’t help you there.

If this is a regular occurrence perhaps we need to build it into the schedule.

Scheduling

Finally, we should time ourselves to be at the right point at the right time in the schedule, so we’re ready to leave on time. 

If getting up is our problem, we can set the bedside alarm ahead to compensate for hitting the snooze button too often, or we can set the alarm out of reach or out of the room to force us up to shut off the annoyance.  Most cell phones have a multiple alarm capability that can be set a few minutes later than the bedside alarm with a second alarm going off when we should be leaving the house. 

Practice

In truth, this approach requires discipline to keep to the schedule, but with practice it gets easier. 

In a recent CareerBuilder survey, 20 percent of workers admitted to getting to work late at least once per week.  12 percent confessed to at least twice per week.  Constantly arriving 15 minutes late cost our employers a week’s pay in lost productivity over the course of a year. 

And this is no economy to make our employer feel we are cheating them. 

Payoff

Arriving early gives us time; time to de-stress, to read an article, write a letter, make a phone call or work on something personal while waiting for the meeting or our work shift to start.

Arriving early gets noticed.  Over the years of my business career, the promotions and raises always went to those who arrived early, even if they did not stay one minute past quitting time.  Executives are in their jobs partially because of their timeliness, and they notice those who are like them. 

And finally, routinely arriving late for our date or meetings shows everyone we have little respect for them or ourselves. 

Command a vital life. Live free.

Many of us follow conventional wisdom and gather together with friends and others on the eve of the New Year to review all the ways in which we are deficient as successful people.  We are unsuccessful for a variety of reasons, and perhaps after a few drinks loosened our tongues, we admitted our shortcomings and resolved to bring our scores up to par. 

Whether we vocalized them to friends or simply admitted them to ourselves, we made a lot of really ambitious promises.  As the first month of the New Year played out, we realized we either have no intention or are incapable of keeping those promises. 

So why can’t we keep those promises to ourselves? 

For one, the guardian of the promises is us, an easy taskmaster; quick to inject reasons for delay and quick to forgive compliance. 

For another, the resolutions are poorly thought out and for a third reason they generally require us to be someone we are not. 

Sooner or later we will realize that we don’t do well with major changes in direction, even if it is resolved with the deepest intention. 

Habits, as someone once described, are developed in the manner of a silken thread being woven into a cord.  The thread becomes thicker and thicker with each occurrence acting as a reinforcement, until it thickens into a Gordian knot. 

Now this is a good thing for good habits, but bad for those habits not so good.

The Gordian knot of legend was made so complex, that no one could undo it.  Alexander the Great tried and could not, so he cut it in two with a single blow from his sword. 

Now cutting a Gordian knot of habit or lifestyle with a single blow is romantic but not practical for most of us unless it involves having surgery. 

In reality we need to change things on a much smaller scale.

We won’t do well and shouldn’t try to change our life in a single day or single week or single month.  What we need is a series of fresh starts and modest changes.  Small things we can change are very important. 

Instead of seeing how far away the end is on our huge projects, we need to break them into smaller projects.  These smaller projects can be constantly restarted if necessary, moving forward in small increments and needing less and less work to complete. 

Constant moving forward in small increments means constant accomplishment. 

Two examples we may resolve are quitting smoking and weight loss.  Many of us want to quit smoking for a number of reasons, but the process of leaving the addiction is doomed to failure without a plan, and maybe some help.

What if we counted our number of smokes in a day, and reduced it by one every week, and smoked only half?  It’s just an idea.  And if we slipped back to a higher level, it probably would be fewer than when we started.   

Don’t focus on failure, just restart from the new level. 

In the area of weight loss, many of us feel we must lose tons of weight.  It is overwhelming just to think about it.  But what if the number was only down to the next five-pound mark on the scale?  That wouldn’t be too bad.  The most we have to lose will be five pounds.  Once we are solid at that level we can restart and focus on the next level. 

A word of caution here.  We all know that diet and exercise in combination will bring us to our goal, but starvation denies us the fuel to burn calories.  We have no energy, we lose muscle mass, and our adaptable body becomes scrawny and learns to live on virtually nothing. 

In my early college days, I could have earned a PhD in cramming techniques.  I really believed I could learn a foreign language in three days.  But life is a great teacher, and eventually I got the “plan ahead” concept right.   

By embracing the “plan ahead” concept and focusing on small changes and adjustments to our lifestyles every day, we can conquer huge goals. 

And our “small goal” achievements will tell us when we should adjust goals up or down.

This method is great news for the next New Years party.  We will not have to make resolutions we have no plan for and no intention of keeping.  We will know that we have been resolving and accomplishing every day during the year, and we can really enjoy that party. 

It is time for us to effect solutions.  Make the list.  Make the plan.  Today. 

Live a Vital life.

Inspiration for this article comes from Merlin Mann’s 43 Folders

Command a vital life. Live free.