We will experience disappointment, setback and criticism.  The setback will slow our momentum.  Disappointment and criticism will take away our will to continue.  Our eye on the goal will be replaced by our eye on the exit.  How we respond will determine whether we succeed or fail.

Some suggestions to survive a bad day:

Ease the pressure

Don’t try to fix it – at least not today.  Whatever the setback was, it is done.  A cooler head can plan a new course around the roadblock.  A decision under pressure may have been one cause of the bad news, and making more decisions now will probably make it worse.

Leave the battle

Don’t dwell on or analyze the problem, it will just become an obsessive blame game, and most likely we will blame ourselves.  Take a break, take a walk, take the rest of the day off.  Refuse to think about the cause of the problem.  We will think more clearly when we distract ourselves.  The problem will still be there when we return.

As we calm down, and we are out of the “pressure cooker”, things become clearer.  Away from the battle field, solutions begin to creep in.  We are now working on solving a remote problem, not immersed in an engulfing catastrophe. 

Don’t play the martyr

Was it really only our fault?  Was the setback the result of events outside of our control?  Were we totally responsible?  Did we make decisions based on information given us?  Was there information we did not know?  We are not magicians and don’t have ESP. 

Did we do our part and perform all the tasks we were responsible for, on time, to get to a good outcome?  Maybe others had a part in the setback. 

Don’t volunteer for undeserved blame when everyone else is looking to find victims.  We need to analyze our part and the part others played.  We could wind up heroes if we can analyze the problem so it doesn’t happen again, plan the repair and return to course.

Don’t generalize or simplify

Resist the inclination to simplify the setback as personally caused and therefore never to be tried again.  Resist the life sentence of failure.  History is filled with stories of famous people who are famous because they refused to give up. 

There is wisdom in the philosophy to remount a horse that has just thrown us.  Returning to the battle after a short period of rest and reflection shows character, determination, and refusal to surrender. 

Wear the armor

We are a world that thrives on retribution.  After a setback, people will be pointing fingers – away from themselves, and toward any likely target.  The armor of course, is symbolic but can protect us anyway. 

Our first priority is our self-esteem.  Write down why this turned out to be a bad day—all the reasons.  Be factual.  Then write down what we are grateful for.  Put it into perspective.  Adopt a positive attitude.  This is our shield. 

Write down what we were responsible for and what was to be accomplished.  If we failed on a point, this is no time to avoid it.  It will sound better coming from us than an accuser.  And believe me, they will find it.  

Write down how to fix the setback and return to course.  If someone else failed and caused the setback, describe the event, not the person.  Everyone will know who it is.  This is our sword, don’t be afraid to show it. 

Discussing and documenting a setback and solution logically restarts our motivation and our will to continue to a successful goal.

This technique works whether the setback is on a group project, or a personal one.  Sometimes personal setbacks are the worst kind.  There is no one else to blame, and the accuser can be more vicious than any other.

Command a vital life. Live free.